Trevor's Phone Call

In an attempt to decide what to do tomorrow in Montalcino, we discovered our favourite Brunello winery on the map the hotel has provided us with.  This map is great - it comes complete with phone numbers and email.  "Let's give them a call and see if we can have a tour," Trev decides.  He calls, and as always the first question is do you speak English?  Up until this point the person on the other end always does, or asks him to hang on one minute while they get someone that does.  This was not the case with this call:
"Do you speak Enlgish?"
"No"
"Uh uh uh uh.  Ummmmmmm.  A tour?"
"No Inglese."
"Uh uh uh uh.  Enoteca?  Tour? Tasting?"
"No Inglese"
"Ok.  MEEEEEE E eposa FAVOREEEETO VEEENO TU."

At this point I am in complete hysterics listens to this conversation.  One person that speaks absolutely no English - as in not even one word, and another trying so hard to remember any of the words we've learned and possibly string them together to make a sentence that even maybe makes sense.  The best part about this is the Americans we were on the wine tour with commented on how much we seemed to know in Italian etc.  But in the moment with complete pressure to say something....anything...in Italian....almost nothing comes out.  Plus I am trying to make my way to the bathroom so I can close the door and laugh my guts out in there as to not distract Trevor further in his attempts at this conversation.  The problem is I am laughing so hard I can hardly take steps to get to the bathroom.  I am hunched over to my knees with tears rolling down my face trying desperately to muffle my laugh.  Well I don't know if you have ever tried to muffle your laugh, but IT DOESN'T WORK!  Instead weird snorting, coughing and choking noises come out.  This of course only makes me laugh harder.  Finally Trevor ends his own torture, or maybe the person on the other end decides to put themselves out of misery and ends the conversation.  Well I completely appreciate this is more then likely a "you had to be there" story I could not pass up the opportunity to write about it so I am able to remember incase I need a good belly laugh in the near future.